Ten Marital "Nevers" - part 2

Ten Marital "Nevers" by Tommy Nelson

#3 Never Use Your Children In Conflict

Sometimes parents ask one of their children to side with them in an argument, to help them in their defense, or even to lie for them. Again, this is not modeling good communication skills or The Book of Romance
good conflict resolution.

A child needs the assurance that both parents love each other and are able to resolve their differences by themselves. To ask a child to side with one parent is to put the child in an extremely awkward and undesirable position.

Too many people I know have been pulled between their parents like a rope in a tug-of-war match. They resent the fact that their parents did that to them and they feel less respect for parents as a result.

#4 Never Confront Your Spouse in Your Children's Presence

Your children in no way benefit from watching the two of you quarrel. They will invariably respond to the tone of your disagreement than to what is being said.

They will feel defensive for themselves and defensive for the spouse they feel is getting a verbal lashing. They are likely to disrespect both parents for engaging in this behavior, either at the time or in later years.

As a parent, you have the job of modeling good communication before your children. Heated arguments or confrontational, combative, critical statements are not good communication for children to copy.

Proverbs 17:1 affirms "Better is a dry morsel with quietness, than a house full of feasting with strife."

A tense home will make a boy long for his driver's license so he can be free of it. A young girl will long for some man to remove her from it - all too often, the wrong man.

Article taken directly from the book, The Book of Romance by Tommy Nelson. Published by Thomas Nelson Publishing.

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