A Word to Wives: Things Not To Do #4
by H. Norman Wright
This week, we will consider lines to avoid crossing as wives. These problem behaviors often plague marriages.
Stop Perpetuating Dependent Behavior
First, don't do anything more for your man that he should be (meaning, that he is capable of) doing for himself. If he asks you for something, and you're used to getting it for him, let him get it for himself. Don't make suggestions. Don't pick up after him. Don't bail him out of experiencing the consequences of his lack of action. Bringing Out the Best in Your Husband - click here
Yes, it probably means that your life could be a bit more frustrating for a while. But you need to stick to your commitment. If you hear complaints, let him know that you know he's capable of assuming the responsibility himself.
You may be the person in his life to show a belief that he can be different.
Treat him as though he is reliable. I've seen so many women who end up being the clock, calendar, key finder, garbage enforcer and appointment regulator. Don't rescue! Don't bail him out!
If a man is functional at work and not at home, there's some kind of game-playing going on that needs to be exposed and stopped.
Sometimes a husband may not act capable because of other reasons such as fear of failure. When a husband fails in one area, he will take on only "safe" tasks. The combination of "forced" responsibility and praise and encouragement is the best combination.
Taken from Bringing Out the Best in Your Husband by H. Norman Wright. Published by Regal Publishing. Copyright 2010.