Controlling One Another - part 1

I get regular emails sent to me from Marriage Vine's book club with a 5 min snippet from a particular focus book of the week. I have learned to really enjoy reading these little 'pointers' (as I will call them) because they are all focused on practical living, relationships between husband and wife, or relationships with others, etc. They are doing a mini series from Bringing Out the Best in Your Husband by Norman Wright and I thought I would share it with you as well!  I am hoping to make this the first of many books I will post on here.

A Word to Wives: Things Not To Do
by H. Norman Wright

This week, we will consider lines to avoid crossing as wives. These problem behaviors often plague marriages.

Controlling One Another
It's easy to fall into thinking you either have to control or be controlled. But God never advocates domination of one marriage partner over another. Sometimes, however, one partner ends up being smothered by the other.

If you end up letting the other person control you, the result is that you end up feeling unnecessary. Total dependence on another is not the way Christ called us to live.

Nancy Groom, in her book Married Without Masks, states:

Adam (even after the Fall) would have been disappointed if Eve had refused to engage with him as his partner in the work God had called both of them to do. He did not need a slave; he needed a woman who knew who she was and was confident in her gifts. An alive, vibrant woman gives zest and excitement to her husband's life. He needs that.


Encouraging your husband does not mean that you become so absorbed in him that your identity and value come from him.

It doesn't mean becoming a doormat with no ideas, opinions or voice; not does it mean becoming an appeasing woman.

Encouragement is not manipulation. It's not done for the purpose of reshaping him for your own dreams, desires, or wishes. Absorption, appeasement and manipulation are actually forms of control.


Taken from Bringing Out the Best in Your Husband by H. Norman Wright. Published by Regal Publishing. Copyright 2010.